Oh my sweet baby girl, how time is flying by so quickly. On the eve of yet another birthday, I'm truly in awe of you and the little lady you are becoming. A combination of looking just like your dad with every ounce of my personality for a beautiful, spirited mix.
I'm grateful for you and your brothers each and every day, but every year when your birthday approaches, I take extra time to thank God for the beautiful outcome He gave us on the day of your birth. You see, you won't know the story for a long time, until you are old enough to not be scared of what could have been. But I want to document letters to you so you know just how loved you were by so many even before you were born.
It was a weekday in October when your dad and I went to our appointment to find out if you were a boy or girl. I was so nervous and anxious and had a gut feeling I was destined to have a house full of boys. So when the tech announced you were a girl, I was shocked and just flooded with emotion that I was going to have a baby girl. We couldn't wait to have a party to announce to our friends and family that a girl was joining the family! Everyone was so excited and the planning of all things pink began.
Then everything changed when I was called into the doctor's private office. He had such a somber face that I should've guessed there was something very wrong. But it took a few moments for everything to sink in. He said "You have what's known as Placenta Accreta." My mind raced with a thousand thoughts as he explained the condition and the extreme risks of carrying the pregnancy through. I don't remember much about the conversation, but I do remember feeling like the room was going dark as I heard him recommend that I end the pregnancy for my safety. I remember going out to my car and crying and calling my family and thinking about what to do. After all, I still had two small boys that were counting on me to be there for them. But I didn't even leave the parking lot before I made my decision. I knew I couldn't end your life to protect mine, so I resolved to do everything in my power to get you here safely.
Words cannot describe the outpouring of love and prayers we received during that time. From close friends and family, mom groups, old friends and acquaintances, to complete strangers that had heard our story, so much love was given to us, and for that I will be forever grateful. You see, sometimes when you think about dying, it forces you to really start living and appreciating everything around you.
From blood drives to prayer chains to meetings with experts in the field, we became as prepared as we could for the birth. I wrote letters to all those close to me and tucked them away in envelopes to read just in case. Your dad prayed over me before we left early that morning and we said our goodbyes as I was put to sleep. The surgery lasted many hours and there were more surgeries scheduled in the following weeks, but you were born so strong and perfect, barely requiring any time in the NICU even being five weeks early! You were amazing from the beginning and I've always known you will be a fighter because you're meant for something great. You're even in medical journals helping other little ones with the condition come into the world safely. Thank you, my little love, for showing me I'm a survivor too and helping me realize life is so precious and the ones you love are always worth fighting for.