Placenta Accreta - A Story of Survival

Oh my sweet baby girl, how time is flying by so quickly.  On the eve of yet another birthday, I'm truly in awe of you and the little lady you are becoming.  A combination of looking just like your dad with every ounce of my personality for a beautiful, spirited mix.  

I'm grateful for you and your brothers each and every day, but every year when your birthday approaches, I take extra time to thank God for the beautiful outcome He gave us on the day of your birth.  You see, you won't know the story for a long time, until you are old enough to not be scared of what could have been.  But I want to document letters to you so you know just how loved you were by so many even before you were born.

It was a weekday in October when your dad and I went to our appointment to find out if you were a boy or girl.  I was so nervous and anxious and had a gut feeling I was destined to have a house full of boys.  So when the tech announced you were a girl, I was shocked and just flooded with emotion that I was going to have a baby girl.  We couldn't wait to have a party to announce to our friends and family that a girl was joining the family!  Everyone was so excited and the planning of all things pink began.

Then everything changed when I was called into the doctor's private office.  He had such a somber face that I should've guessed there was something very wrong.  But it took a few moments for everything to sink in.  He said "You have what's known as Placenta Accreta." My mind raced with a thousand thoughts as he explained the condition and the extreme risks of carrying the pregnancy through.  I don't remember much about the conversation, but I do remember feeling like the room was going dark as I heard him recommend that I end the pregnancy for my safety.  I remember going out to my car and crying and calling my family and thinking about what to do.  After all, I still had two small boys that were counting on me to be there for them.  But I didn't even leave the parking lot before I made my decision.  I knew I couldn't end your life to protect mine, so I resolved to do everything in my power to get you here safely.  

Words cannot describe the outpouring of love and prayers we received during that time.  From close friends and family, mom groups, old friends and acquaintances, to complete strangers that had heard our story, so much love was given to us, and for that I will be forever grateful.  You see, sometimes when you think about dying, it forces you to really start living and appreciating everything around you. 

From blood drives to prayer chains to meetings with experts in the field, we became as prepared as we could for the birth. I wrote letters to all those close to me and tucked them away in envelopes to read just in case.  Your dad prayed over me before we left early that morning and we said our goodbyes as I was put to sleep.  The surgery lasted many hours and there were more surgeries scheduled in the following weeks, but you were born so strong and perfect, barely requiring any time in the NICU even being five weeks early!  You were amazing from the beginning and I've always known you will be a fighter because you're meant for something great. You're even in medical journals helping other little ones with the condition come into the world safely. Thank you, my little love, for showing me I'm a survivor too and helping me realize life is so precious and the ones you love are always worth fighting for. 

Kids and the Case for Experiences Over Things

I'll admit I am a reformed Pinterest mom.  Nothing made me more giddy than my kids' birthdays rolling around and getting to work on the perfect party theme complete with personalized favors, finger foods with cute names to match the theme, and of course a fancy homemade cake.  They were into Frozen that year?  No problem, I can make a 3-D Elsa cake complete with an aqua rosette dress made out of frosting. Your thing is Legos?  I'll just mold some chocolate into Lego people and bricks, no big deal. But somewhere (probably after that 3rd baby was born!), I decided the parties were becoming too much.  Too much stress to make it as great as the year before, too much time taken away with planning, too many gifts to find a place for at the end of the party!  I realized a more minimalist lifestyle was the key to our family being happier.

When my husband and I started dating, we decided that for our birthdays, instead of gifts, we would do small trips.  I can still smell the smoke of the fire burning in the chimney and feel the crisp air on my face as we sat outside enjoying the glorious view of the Tennessee mountains on our first trip together for my birthday. I can still smell the salty ocean air of the Gulf of Mexico for his birthday trip that year.  You see, experiences like these are etched into our memories and last a lifetime, and that's exactly what I want for my children.  I want for them to look back on their childhoods and think about the wonderful moments we shared together as a family.

I was so thrilled when my middle son said he'd rather go on a family adventure this year for his birthday.  You see, as a Florida native, he's only ever seen a few snow flurries in his life, so his biggest wish was to see a lot of snow.  So we drove up to the mountains of North Carolina and took him on a winter adventure filled with snow tubing and sledding.  I have no doubt this memory will stay with him for life.  I can't wait to experience more fun things with my family.

Now of course a trip is not always in the budget every year for every kid, so here are a few ideas to create experiences while on a budget.  If the kids' birthdays are close at all, you could bundle the trip and make it a "family birthday adventure."  Keeping the location close allows you to only spend a weekend and easily drive instead of paying for flights.  There are also plenty of fun things to do locally.  Go for the day (or buy a pass) for the local zoo, aquarium or children's museum.  Go to an age-appropriate play or concert. For the more adventurous, indoor rock climbing or zip-lining. There are so many ways to create special memories with your family.  And hey, you don't even have to give up making the fancy homemade cakes...I know I didn't. Some traditions are worth keeping! 

Thirteen - A Birthday Letter

Thirteen...I'm not going to lie.  Getting prepared to celebrate your 13th birthday puts that little tingle in my throat just the same way it did on your first birthday, when you took your first steps and when I walked you into your classroom on your first day of kindergarten.  It's a reminder that you have grown from that squishy-faced toddler that used to spontaneously hug my leg into a guy that shops in the men's section for clothes.  

A very wise older friend once told me "If you are raising him to not need you around, but he still wants you around, you are doing a great job." How true are those words?  I remember looking at that tiny baby in my arms that depended on me for everything and couldn't fathom the day when you didn't need me.  But thirteen sure feels close.  My heart is a wee bit achy with the realization that we only have five more years until you'll be preparing to leave for college. Five more years to really help shape the person you'll be when you're out on your own making your own choices.

I really had no clue what I was doing when we brought you home from the hospital, and I feel like I've gone back to square one as we enter the hormonal teenage years. Since we are big cooks around here, I'll put it in cooking terms.  Being the first, you were the test kitchen. We tried things out, and if they didn't work, we changed them up with your brother and sister.   I've fallen short on a lot of things over the years, but with that came some great lessons.

I've learned that letting you fail is a good thing.  Of course I want to drive to school when I realize you left your homework, but I won't because you need to learn to take responsibility.  Of course I want to give the jerk that's saying rude things to you in the hallway a piece of my mind, but I won't because I want to give you the tools you need to stick up for yourself.  Of course I want to ask the coach to give you more playing time, but I won't because you've got to learn to work hard for what you want.  

Most of all, I've learned that time goes by like the speed of light and the time I have left with you is precious and I want to make the most of it.  I promise to be more present and really look for those quiet moments to chat...other things can wait.  I've learned that even though you are about to overtake me in height, you still need to be hugged and told you're loved every.single.day.  Because even if you act too grown up for it, you are never too old to be shown that you are loved and supported. 

So my son, even in the blur of the hormonal tornado twisting and turning all around you, always remember that you are loved, you are believed in and that you gave us the greatest gift of our lives when you made us a mom and dad.